Just For Laughs: 20 Bizarre Thoughts Every Woman Has During Her Period

Getting your period is a major downer. It’s like life’s stop sign, rendering you incapacitated. You wish you can stop everything but no you can’t you have to go to school or work.

Periods are the worst time of the month for females. We feel like we’re dying, we hate everyone and everything, work isn’t optional and all we want to do is crawl into our beds and never come out. Our guy friends, boyfriends and dads can’t feel our pain, but all of the women in our lives can relate.

We love to complain about our periods, regardless of the fact that we’ve been dealing with them every month since we were 13(ish). It doesn’t matter; girls love to complain and love to have people who will listen. Complaining about your period basically, ensures a great audience. We have a love/hate relationships with our periods because it’s an excuse to eat whatever we want and to be a huge bitch,

As women, we’ve been raised not to overshare, to “be a lady”. Well, I’ve never been embarrassed to tell someone (male or female) when I’m on my period. But I have maybe had a bit more restraint in sharing these other thoughts I have while menstruating, and I am sure, I am not the only one that has these thoughts. If you are a guy, you can read this and understand what goes on in a woman’s head while she is on her period.

1. “Am I dying?”

Seriously, it is not normal to bleed this much and not die.

2. “I’m so bloated.”

UGH! Why am I so fat today? This is the worst feeling ever. Gosh, I look so unattractive.

3. “At least I’m not pregnant!”

This is probably the ONLY upside to getting your period, literally.

4. “Sorry I’m being annoying right now, but I’m on my period.”

Get-out-of-jail-free card? Thank you very much, uterus.

5. “Has it always hurt this much?”

We’ve been going through this for a while now, but the pain just feels worse every time.

6. “Anyone have a tampon/ pad?”

Somebody needs to wingardium leviosa a tampon or pad to me right now because there is nothing worse than sitting at work/school realizing you forgot to bring back up.

7. “Must I use a pad?”

#TBT: Pads! Hahaha, these are literally adult diapers, very uncomfortable.

8. “Seriously?! Another sheet bites the dust?”

Every girl has had to experience something along these lines. There’s nothing worse than drifting off to sleep realise the crimson monster has made its way through your sheets. Those sheets will never look the same

9. “As anyone ever died from Menstrual pain?”

It hurts so bad, I wonder if anyone has died from this.

10. “I need a hot shower”

You wish you can have a hot shower every hour because you feel dirty, and that’s the only thing that can make you feel better.

11. “I can eat whatever I want. I deserve it.”

The best part (like there is one) of being on our periods is that fact that we can rationalise any and every morsel of food that passes through our lips.

12. “I need chocolate!”

This is self-explanatory, but didn’t mum just say chocolates will just make me feel worse?

13. “I don’t have to go to the gym, right?”

Who the hell wants to do jumping jacks on their period? Not me, that’s for sure. Who even thinks about exercising in this condition

14. “This is my favourite underwear now”

You have your date-night underwear, your daytime underwear and then the reject pile that’s reserved for your period week. We may have been dealing with this for years, but for some reason, we never learn our lesson.

15. “I’m allowed to be mean.”

I can be a huge b**ch and no one can say a damn thing because it’s my hormones speaking! #Winning

16. “I hate everyone.”

All women are more irritable on their periods, and with good reason. This time of the month is painful and uncomfortable, putting us on edge for every conversation we’re going to engage in.

17. “I just want to curl up in a ball and die.”

I. Need. My. Bed. Right. Now.

18. “Why do I have to go to work today?”

I can just call in sick now, this is literally making me sick. Women should totally get a day off during that time of the month. I mean you all have that one day that is significantly worse than the rest.

19. Did The Earth Just Move?

Every now and then, your body expels a glob so Earth-shattering that you can’t help it when your eyes widen in absolute shock. This is the kind of stuff that should be coming out of Godzilla not a little human like me.

20. I WISH I WAS A GUY!

If you have not uttered these words, you haven’t really experienced a period. Men don’t know how good they have it.